The Best-Tasting Juice Cleansers

Someone has bottled Gwyneth Paltrow’s magical glow, and now we’re all drinking the Kool-Aid. And yes, we’re literallydrinking it.

Juice cleanses have become so ubiquitous that, despite their exorbitant price tag, consumption has extended beyond celebrities to us regular folk. Though the health benefits of a detox cleanse have been debated, everybody’s trying it anyway. Sure, there’s the promise of feeling better, looking brighter and younger, and functioning like a well-oiled machine , but let’s be real. You’re really doing a cleanse because you want to drop a few pounds.

Here’s what we really want to know: Do any of these cleanses taste good enough and satisfy us enough to be worth some major dough and food deprivation? Is anythingworth food deprivation? Because I’ve got a homemade blueberry pie on my counter, and you’re going to have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

Health claims aside, we’re here to see how drinkable these cleanses are. If the juice doesn’t taste good, chances are you’ll end up throwing money down the drain, along with that putrid cabbage-kale juice.

First of all, a quick education on how cleanses work. Most juice cleanses consist of six juices a day, which are delivered fresh to your door. These aren’t your typical Mott’s apple juices — they’re pressed, raw, unpasteurized juices made from fruits and vegetables, with no sugar added. Start the cleanse immediately, because the juices’ nutrients allegedly begin to deteriorate after three days (with the exception of BluePrint, which lasts six days). Drink a bottle of the juice every two hours, with a glass of water in between, and eat absolutely no food — herbal tea is your only other allowance (not even gum!). The typical cleanse lasts three days, but you can tinker with the length of the duration. The cost, on average, is $75 a day. Yep, you read that correctly.

We conducted a taste test of the five major brands that will ship their juices directly to your home, no matter where you live (as long as it’s in the United States, that is). Despite our worst fears, we found we actually enjoyed the flavors across the board, making the prospect of a cleanse seem almost realistic. A juice with red cabbage in itactually tastes like a popsicle. Would we want to drink these juices all day long? Sure we would. But there are some differences from brand to brand, so we’ve put together a tasting guide in the slideshow below. Check it out to see which cleanse best suits your taste buds.

#1: Life Juice
Cost per day: $60
Lasts: 3 days

Comments: “Happy Belly has red cabbage in it, which scared me, but it actually tastes like a popsicle. Amazing.” “The carrot in the Energizer Bunny is outstanding. So fresh and smooth.” “Good juices. All bright and tasty.” “Beautiful colors! Each one was very distinct. Happy Belly was amazing. Only the Alkaline Blend wasn’t delicious.”


#2: Cooler Cleanse

Cost per day: $58
Lasts: 3 days
Celeb fan: Salma Hayek
coolercleanse.comComments: “Steer clear of the Essential Greens, but everything else is good.” “The almond nut milk is like a vanilla milkshake!” “I would die for this almond nut milk — the best nut milk of all the cleanses.” “Strong flavors! I would drink some of these every day.”
#3: BluePrint Cleanse

Cost per day: $60
Lasts: 6 days in refrigerator
Celeb fans: Olivia Wilde, Bethenny Frankel, Julia Stiles
blueprintcleanse.comComments: “The white cashew juice tastes like a milkshake.” “The red is intensely delicious.” “The green juice is a little more bitter than other brands.” “The green juice is a little muddy, almost swampy.” “The gold pineapple mint is outstanding — but I’d rather have it in a cocktail.” “I just wish the taste of the cashew milk were a little sweeter.”
#4: Ritual Cleanse

Cost per day: $80, plus $20 shipping
Lasts: 4 days
Celeb fans: Kim Kardashian
ritualcleanse.comComments: “The almond mylk reminds me of horchata.” “There’s hardly any difference between the sweet greens and the green lemon, but they’re both delicious and fresh.” “The nut drinks are both way too gritty.” “Very austere. I definitely couldn’t maintain this.” “The vegetable-based drinks are a little depressing, but the fruit drinks are delicious.”
#5: Organic Avenue, Love Deep

Cost per day: $70 for bio bottles, $90 for glass bottles
Lasts: 3 days
Celeb fans: Gwyneth Paltrow, Liv Tyler, Mary-Louise Parker
organicavenue.comComments: “The pear juice is outstanding and very sweet, but thin.” “Nothing exciting, but drinkable.” “Thumbs down on the almond milk.” “The cucumber juice tastes just like … cucumber juice.” “The juices are a little bland, but not unpalatable.” “Both green juices are pretty foul.”

About Lady Fab

Hello & Welcome to My Life In The FAB Lane! First and foremost my name is Tameca; FABulously known as Lady Fab. With a new vision and outlook on life … I have discovered the true meaning of being FREE and loving & accepting the person that God has made me to be … so much so that I have decided to document my life through blog. So buckle your seatbealts & come along for ride, as I take you into a glimpse of what it is really like Being Lady Fab. And Always remember a Lady should always be two things … Classy and FABULOUS! ~ Lady Fab

Posted on July 24, 2012, in Healthy Fab and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. When I found your site I acquired so happy, its the jungle out there on the internet there are 99 % poor websites without any content material and relevant info, however, you proceed the other method and provide us all reading within right here knowledge about lots of nutrients!

  2. I was reading thru and find that the sites content is good and well written. Looks like alot of time and effort has been placed. Keep up the good work. i have bookmarked this website! thank you

  3. I was reading thru and find that the sites content is good and well written. Looks like alot of time and effort has been placed. Keep up the good work. i have bookmarked this website! thank you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: